I look upon 2024 with extreme suspicion, honestly. It feels like almost everyone I know has had a trash fire of a year in 2023, and that's not even counting the larger global clusterfuck that we see around us. Or even the current national one. As of this week, the nation feels even more doom-gloom than it does already, thanks to violently orange religious iconography everywhere, not to mention the actual violence that's been happening since. It's a really terrifying and infuriating time to be here, honestly. I am surrounded now by people who are in extreme burnout, life situations and emotions in flux, and we're all lying in a tired pile and playing Mortal Kombat to soothe our weary bodies and minds. AND it's fucking election year in India.

Suffice it to say, I am T I R E D.

During my last therapy session in December, my lovely therapist asked me if I had any particular feelings or blues about the end of the year, and I just shrugged. Dates change, and life is no different. But then the dates changed. Life was no different (much as I expected), but I did go into a hole of grumpy emotions for about an hour.

Like I said... tired. Exhausted, in fact.

I've been thinking about what I want for 2024, and honestly, it's been hard to pin something down because there are so many little goals I have. But I think it all boils down to this: I want no drama in 2024. My wish for this year is an absolute lack of eventfulness. No surprises. Please, universe, allow me to spend this year in relative contentment and go about my life as planned. I'm not even daring to think about the results of the national elections this year (on that note - register to vote if you aren't already)

In a silly little effort to feel some semblance of control over my life, I've begun to check my horoscope every week. But this Thing ain't your regular astral prediction - it's a delightful Instagram account called Horror Scoops that shares the SILLIEST predictions for each zodiac on a weekly basis. Here's their hopes and predictions for 2024:

And here is their prediction for my zodiac for last week:

I’ve become quite fond of this account. It makes more sense to me than anything else in this wild world. And if my horoscope tells me I'm in for dazzle, delight, and folks desperate to befriend me - well, I'll take it quite happily. We could all use a little less drama and a lot more silliness in 2024, and relying on Horror Scoops for this is my gift to you.

(Of course, my other gift to you is Just One Thing, in your inbox every day. Take it and go.)

Pai

👀 No surprises, please.